Well done! You have given birth to another human being, something no man can ever do. It is a great achievement– always remember that!

Some women are overjoyed when they see their baby, are supported by adoring husbands or partners and surrounded by loving family and close female friends. But most women don’t receive this kind of attention. This is because we live in a society that is quite fragmented. The extended family is a thing of the past for most people. Many women have to return to a very different life with minimal support from others. You need to learn how to look after yourself. Your intuition is the key.

When you give birth you may be overwhelmed with loving feelings for your child. That’s great. Enjoy it all. However some women are quite shocked by the whole experience. Sometimes it’s a mixture of shock and joy which is quite a unique experience. Sometimes it’s just shock. If you find that you feel a bit strange and that you love your baby but find it hard to ‘bond’, don’t panic. This is actually normal for a lot of women and it soon passes. In a very small minority of cases the state persists and these are the cases of ‘post-natal depression’ you have heard about. It’s actually pretty rare so do not label yourself with this condition if you feel a little ‘lost’ after labour.

GETTING HELP FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
This is the time you really do need help. Women in extended families and tight-knit communities are much better off as food, support and baby-sitting are immediately available. Unfortunately for many women, this is simply not the case. Support is minimal and tremendous fatigue sets in. Some mothers are luckier than others about their babies sleeping through the night but most get tired eventually. Now is the time to look after yourself. Here are some tips:

POST-NATAL TIPS:

1. Learn to cat-nap. Every time your baby goes to sleep, resist the temptation to catch up on any domestic chores. Lie down (even next to your baby) and sleep while your baby sleeps.
2. Go for brief walks: Walking with a pram will help you re-oxygenate your lungs, and help you shed some of those excess pounds you put on during your pregnancy.
3. Breast-feeding: Breast is definitely best for both mother and child. However don’t feel a failure if you have problems and have to stop. In fact 30% of women in Britain do not breast-feed at all. Breast pumps can be a useful aid. For mastitis see the homeopathic tip below.
4. Sex Drive: It’s quite normal for your libido to disappear for a few weeks after birth. Keep in mind that your partner may not be prepared for this. So talk to him about it and know that it will come back. That’s how women have more babies! I’ve heard some women say that breastfeeding is a natural contraceptive. Twenty years of medical practice has convinced me that this is NOT TRUE! Speak to your doctor about proper contraception …
5. When others offer help: At a post-natal class a patient of mine was given some excellent advice that I have repeated over and over to my patients with superb results. She was told what to do when family and friends ask if they can come visit, particularly in that very special ‘babymoon’ period of the first few weeks. She was advised to say: “Yes, do pop in for five minutes, and please bring a casserole!” Try it!

HOMEOPATHIC TIPS

• After all births: Arnica 30c twice a day for a few days has a great reputation for dealing with the inevitable bruising.
• Caesarian Sections, Episiotomies and forceps deliveries: Use Staphisagria 30c as well as Arnica 30c .
• Mastitis: If the breast is hot, red, inflamed and painful the homeopathic remedy, Belladonna, is often very helpful and well worth trying before having to resort to antibiotics in many cases. Use Belladonna 6c one pill four times a day or 30c twice a day.
• Haemorrhoids: It’s worth treating them homeopathically but consult a qualified homeopathic doctor about this.
• Stress Incontinence: If you leak a bit of urine when you cough or sneeze, try Causticum 30 twice a day for 5 to 7 days.
• Irritability + very strong aversion to sex: Try Sepia 30 twice a day for a week.

These tips are based on what I’ve seen work fairly consistently in my own practice. It is always better not to treat yourself but consult a professional homeopath. Above all, be gentle with yourself. You are working at least as hard as any city trader, which is as probably as hard as it gets. You deserve a bit of pampering. Make sure you get it!